


cruel

by gabriphales



Series: gomens drabble hell [21]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Internal Monologue, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, platonic w romantic undertones on gabriels side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23792878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales
Summary: gabriel doesn't know how to get what he wants without asking for it outright. 'why don't you like me like everyone else does? why don't you marvel at my very presence?' that's too strong, that's too much to go about pricking aziraphale's sensibilities with.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: gomens drabble hell [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664713
Kudos: 19





	cruel

**Author's Note:**

> i think abt gabriel,, a lot,,, this was born from meta lmao

he's nervous.

it's odd, because he never really gets nervous around any of the other angels. not with uriel, not with michael - _definitely_ not with sandalphon. but aziraphale is - aziraphale is _different._ so different it sometimes makes his stomach sick to think of what might have made aziraphale the way he is, what gave root to his idiosyncrasies and individuality. 

gabriel just wants to be liked by him. the archangels like him, his subordinates respect him - he's idealized in heaven. the big, brave, brazen leader. standing tall, unwavering for thousands upon thousands of years. the one to deliver yeshua unto earth's kingdom, bringing light to humanity - bringing _glory._ but aziraphale doesn't see him like that. aziraphale's eyes are devoid of the adoration they should possess.

and gabriel doesn't know how to get what he wants without asking for it outright. _why don't you like me like everyone else does? why don't you marvel at my very presence?_ that's too strong, that's too much to go about pricking aziraphale's sensibilities with. it just doesn't make sense. why should he be the one aziraphale's frightened of? why should _he_ be the thing he's champing at the bit to get away from? dwindling whenever they're talking, always pushed aside because aziraphale has _earthly work he really must get back to._

earth isn't kind, earth isn't clean. earth isn't anything like heaven. gabriel doesn't get it. why would aziraphale choose earth over him? there's so much to despise on the wretched planet, so much to fear. especially if you're a weaker, softer angel. small, fragile, in need of someone to rely on. gabriel wants to be that someone for him. he just wants to be _let in._

but aziraphale won't budge. aziraphale won't even consider his company a viable option.

still, he has things to be grateful for. it's not like he hasn't noticed how aziraphale clings to him the most during reconnaissance meetings. how he latches onto gabriel's eye contact, gabriel's questions, gabriel's attention. he's a fidgety, wretched mess, and he has to depend on gabriel to guide him out of his flustered state. sometimes gabriel likes shooting him down, just to build him back up again. crumbling his composure with well-aimed derision, and tending to the wounds left afterwards.

 _what you're doing is praiseworthy_ \- it's too easy - _but obviously doomed to failure._ aziraphale's forced smile wilts from his face like it's been strangled from the ground by its roots. all the better for gabriel to swoop in, offer that gentle, reassuring pat to his shoulder, and let him know he's _appreciated_ by his boss. because gabriel likes him. and he wants aziraphale to like him too. he needs him to.

he needs him to.


End file.
